[PRIVATE] First Date

"Aww, you think so? Thanks!" Ellie exclaimed with a smile. She liked to believe she looked cute, but hey, there wasn't really a way to know for sure now, was there? All she had to go on was the word of the people around her, but so far the feedback had been pretty positive.

"Sure, go for it!" the girl confirmed. The sounds around them were increasing as they approached the hot dog stand, so the girl guessed that there was either a line or just a crowd around the booth. Neither option sounded particularly good. "Do you mind if I wait here? I don't do well with lots of people", she asked.

Seeing Ellie's beaming smile at his comment meant a lot to Jimmy, and he didn't entirely know why. Something seemed different about her, and he couldn't help but think that she was far more complex a person than what he'd been getting to know about her so far. Or perhaps he was projecting that onto whatever it was that had drawn him to Ellie so suddenly in the first place. He still had a lot of acquainting himself with her that he wanted to do before the night was over. Still, first thing first, his date was hungry. Jimmy himself wasn't that bothered about the idea of food just yet, but he knew he probably wasn't going to get another chance to eat until much later if he passed up the chance. Not to mention that doing so would have been a little weird.

Jimmy nodded, before realising that the gesture was totally redundant. The stand had a huge, disorganised cluster or people surrounding it and all but literally waving their money in the faces of the two poor, overworked people working the joint.
"Yeah, I understand. Stay where you are. Anything you want on top? Mustard? Ketchup? Onions? All of the above?" He asked.

"Hmm..." Ellie rolled her eyes, wondering what to ask for. Under normal circumstances, the answer would've definitely been 'all of the above', but considering the fact that the young girl kinda sorta a little bit hoped that the night would end with a kiss, maybe onions weren't the best option. While not quite as bad as garlic, onion breath was still a total deal breaker when it came to kissing... or so she assumed. "Just mustard and ketchup for me! Thanks!" she spoke, reaching into her purse and pulling out her red cane. Tapping a few times on the ground, the girl quickly made her way to the nearest bench, whose surface she tested with the palm of her hand before sitting down on it. She retracted the cane, but kept it in her hand just in case Jimmy needed some kind of item to help identify his date among the crowds of people.

"Sure, got it. Back in a minute." He confirmed before he broke off to wait in the messy group of people bellowing their orders. Fairs were generally nice places full of people enjoying themselves, but the food places were a clusterfuck of confusion and people generally acting unpleasant in his limited experience with these things. He stood around for a while before he got the attention of one of the people working the stand and ordered two hot dogs, both topped with ketchup and mustard. He returned to roughly the area he'd left Ellie and searched for a petite blonde girl. He knew those were visual characteristics of hers, but he struggled to pick her out. Blonde, slight of frame and... of course, the red cane. Recalling that detail made someone he was pretty sure was her easy to find. He approached the girl and asked for confirmation. Better safe than sorry.
"Ellie?"

"That's what they call me!" she exclaimed with a smile, outstretching her small hands to pick up the hot dog that her date had hopefully gotten her. This simple culinary invention smelled so amazing that the young girl barely resisted the urge to just bite into it without a second thought! How was it possible that hot dogs sold on the street and at fairs were so much tastier than those made at home, anyway? Maybe what they said about your outlook and expectations playing a huge role in how something tastes was true after all. "Thanks a lot!" she smiled at the boy.

Once she was sure that Jimmy had taken a seat next to her, Ellie finally allowed herself to take a bite of the hot dog, and man, it tasted just as nice as it smelled! "Wow... I keep forgetting just how good these are", she chuckled upon swallowing, eager to take another bite. She went about it slowly, being careful not to bite into the napkin surrounding the hot dog, which was way easier than it sounded when you couldn't see it. She thought about instigating some kind of conversation, but she couldn't think of any subjects to talk about. She wanted to know more about Jimmy, but couldn't figure out a way to frame it in a way that didn't seem like she was prying into his personal life. Then again, wasn't that what you were supposed to do at dates anyway? "Say, um... Ignore me if I'm delving too deep, but can you tell me a bit about your mom? What is she like?" she asked. Considering the fact that she'd never met her own mother, Ellie was quite curious about what her date thought of his.

Jimmy took a bite of his hot dog before he responded.
"My mom? Well, I don't really know anymore. Things didn't go so well between us after the aneurysm. I lost pretty much all of my memories of her, and I think that on some level she must be holding that against me now. It's rough to go pour over three huge photo albums and not remember a single moment, or a single story I was told. I had to be re-taught the story of my life. It was pretty surreal. From what I understand, she and I used to be inseparable. We were a team, y'know? We'd been through a lot together through my childhood. Now, it doesn't really feel like I have much of a mother in my life. We hardly ever talk. She's prone to anxiety attacks, I have a vague memory of that. My grandparents tell me I got pretty good at calming her down, I was the only one who could do it most of the time. But yeah, there's not really anything there right now. We'll build some bridges one day, but for now..." He shrugged and took another bite.

"...it's not all bad though, my stepdad's a pretty cool dude. Rough around the edges sometimes, but he doesn't mean to be. He gives me space when I need it, doesn't force us on some bullshit 'bonding' trips or anything. If it happens, it happens naturally. We're sort of just cool with each other, so that's good. Then there's my sister, Akira. Well, stepsister really, but she and I are basically just as close as biological siblings. And we were that way before, from what I'm told. She's the only face I've memorised again so far, but it shows that I can do it. She's the only one who's really bothered with getting to know who I am now. I think something other than just my memory changed after the aneurysm, and Akira's the only one who's really picked up on that. From what I could figure, I was pretty shallow before. I just coasted, didn't care about anything unless I decided to. Now, I feel like something's missing. Or maybe it was for a while, and I'm only actually searching for it just now."

He laughed at himself.
"Sorry, I might have gotten a bit too deep there. Hope I didn't overwhelm you with that."

Ellie said nothing as Jimmy was talking about his family. She just listened, taking a bite of her hot dog from time to time. Honestly, since she didn't keep eye contact, a passer-by could've surmised that she wasn't listening at all, but the young girl was absorbing every word. And she drew a few conclusions about her date. "Oh, no, don't worry, you didn't!" she answered honestly after he finished. "It's just... I don't know, I guess I'm just trying to understand you. I mean, sure, getting close to your mom once again is hard, I get that, but... Was that really a good enough reason to just give up? I don't get it... She's your mom, after all, the only one you have in the entire world. And since your father left, I'd assume that you you'd try so much harder to keep your mom close by, but you're not doing that, you're just pushing her away even further despite how hard everything has been for her and... I'm sorry, I'm judging you, and that's not what I wanted to do, really! It's just..."

Ellie sighed loudly. She rarely shared much information of herself below the surface level, but Jimmy had, so she figured it was only fair. "I never knew my mom. Or my dad. My first memories, from when I was about two years old, were made in a foster home. I don't know if my parents died or just abandoned me or were arrested or anything, they're not going to tell me that until I turn 18. But all my life I've been waiting for someone to adopt me... My friends were all picked out, one by one. And I, the blind kid, had to move from place to place when I aged out and desperately cling to the fantasy of a woman that could be my mom loving me. And at the same time you've got a mom right there, a phone call away! You don't need to sit around and wait for a hypothetical mom to choose you and take you home, you already have one and you yourself have chosen to abandon her, and it's... I dunno. It's dumb, I guess", she forced a smile. "I don't know, I mean, you're your own person and you can make your choices, but if I were you, I'd do anything in my power to have a proper family"

Jimmy listened carefully to what Ellie had to say before he responded. He understood where she was coming from, but he couldn't help but feel a little annoyed at her passing judgement so quickly.
"I'm sorry, Ellie, that must have been awful. But I think you're projecting some of your experience onto mine where it doesn't fit. You think I don't want a proper family? I'm trying. Really, I am, but I lost thirteen years of my own existence in an instant, like someone hit a reset button on my life. The time I had to heal and fix things with them while trying to re-learn my own life just wasn't enough. And now I'm here, and a few phone calls isn't going to recreate what was once there. I have to forge it all again from scratch. That takes time, and a lot of it. I do call home, I do it a few times a week. I talk to my sister, I talk to my stepdad, and mom never wants to speak. She picks up and hands the phone off like a hot potato. She treats me like I hurt her intentionally, like I chose to forget her because she didn't mean anything to me. I don't know how to make amends for that, and there sure as shit isn't a greetings card that fits this situation. 'Sorry for completely forgetting who you are, but my brain decided to spontaneously explode inside my skull'. Maybe I should get a patent on that, it'd be a bestseller." He joked.

"There's something she's yet to get over, and I don't know how to help her do it. Or maybe I shouldn't, maybe the problem is that I'm trying when she doesn't want me to. I understand, she wants me to remember, but I'm not going to wallow in self-pity for her sake when I'm lucky enough to still have a life to lead. But I've got Rick and Akira right now, and two out of three ain't bad. It's a long and painful process, rebuilding a family; and I'm sure I've made plenty of mistakes along the way, but I'm not just sitting on my ass and waiting for it to come to me."

Ellie lowered her head as she was accused of projecting herself onto her date. Maybe that was the case... She didn't think so, but her opinion was hardly objective in the matter. "You're right... You're completely right, a few phone calls won't recreate what was there. Nothing ever will, no matter what you do. But, um... Perhaps a phone call can be the start of something new? I mean, I understand where your mom's coming from, even if I don't agree with her. It's not easy to work on single-handedly crafting anything, least of all a person, and then having all of that progress just erased by a stroke of bad luck. But just because she's stopped trying to fix things doesn't mean you should! Just... I don't know, talk to her, even if you think she's not listening. Send her texts. It's the little things that build up slowly. Trust me, she wants nothing more than to have you back in her life, but she just... Doesn't know how to have you, the real you, and not just the memory of who you used to be", Ellie spoke.

Placing her hand gently on top of Jimmy's, the young girl turned her head to face him, trying to focus her eyes on his face. "You don't know what it's like to truly not have a mom, and let me tell you, it sucks. And one day you really won't have her anymore, and then you're gonna fill up with regret and ask yourself why you didn't do something more sooner. But then..." she stopped mid-sentence, removing her hand and turning her head back to look straight ahead. "I'm sorry, I'm kinda ruining this, aren't I? It's just that... This is kind of a sore spot for me. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry..." she repeated.

"Yeah, you're right... That's just the thing though, isn't it? I don't know what's changed, but I'm clearly not the son she started with, and I never will be again. Y'know, it's hard to feel like a real person when I'm held up to the Jimmy of the past all the time. 'Oh, you never liked that before! What about this? You never used to do that!'. I'm sick of being spoken about in the past tense, being spoken about like I'm dead. I'm already completely out of touch with myself, with who I am as a person, being held up to the older, better version of myself doesn't help. I don't know how I can start something new when I have no real sense of who I am anymore. How do I tell my mom that the child she had is never going to exist again in a way that won't just break her heart even more?" Jimmy squeezed Ellie's hand gently as he spoke.

"Hey, no, it's fine. We all have... complications in our lives, that's why we're here. Those complications don't come without scars. But we're here to get to know each other, warts and all, and I haven't seen anything that I don't like about you. But we're also here to have fun. We're at a fair for god's sake! Let's go do something, shall we?" He continued.

"Nobody's perfect, Jimmy", Ellie spoke, glancing up to him. "No matter what you do, she's always going to compare you to the person you used to be, but... Maybe eventually she'll learn to accept the new you. The real you. And yes, the child your mother knew before will never be there again, but she has a new one, a son who is wonderful and kind and sweet and funny... I think she'd be proud of you, if she got to know you. Don't deny her this just because it's hard", the young girl smiled. While it was debatable whether she was right or not, it was pretty obvious that the young girl was very well-spoken, especially for a 13 year old.

When Jimmy suggested that they go and have some fun, the young girl nodded with a smile. "Sounds great to me!" she suddenly cheered up, putting on the mask which had become like second nature to her. Standing up, the girl 'looked' around, trying to establish a sense of her surroundings. "I can hear gunshots from there", Ellie pointed. "That must be the shooting range! Come on! I refuse to end this date until you win me at least one prize!"

"It's far from easy, but it's worth a try, I suppose. I've never been trying to deny her anything, she's doing that herself, I just don't know what else I should do to make it work. Thank you though, you've probably helped me more than you know." He said, smiling.

To Jimmy, his disposition was never really fake, he could switch tones on a dime when he wanted to, but it was always something real. Perhaps sometimes to varying degrees, but he'd always been a poor liar. He hoped Ellie's sudden, kinetic happiness was something genuine too. And if it wasn't, he was determined to make it so.
"Well, I'd better make sure I don't win you anything for a while then, because I don't want this to end any time soon." He said, pulling himself up as Ellie stood.

Jimmy's comment made Ellie giggle. She liked that her date was having a good time, despite everything. Placing her cane back in her purse, the girl waited for Jimmy to stand up before wrapping her hands around his arm, counting on him to guide her towards the shooting gallery... or wherever else he wanted to, really. The night was theirs! While the Tachibana Academy had a curfew for students living in the dorms - 11 PM - pretty much nobody kept it, as there was no one out there to actually monitor it. The security guard barely, if ever, left his post within the campus, only getting out if a student locked themselves out or something. Ellie and Jimmy had, realistically, all the time in the world.

Jimmy led Ellie to the shooting gallery, she'd already expressed an interest in it, so he decided to stop amongst the fake rifles set up in a row. There was one other person using it, a stocky, bearded man with seemingly flawless aim.
"So, the shooting gallery. Do you want to go first?" Jimmy joked.

"Depends on whether you have enough money to settle the inevitable manslaughter charge!" Ellie chuckled. Even if she could see, she'd have probably been a bit too short to properly manage a rifle, even in heels. Instead, she leaned over the counter called the owner of the booth over. "Excuse me! My boyfriend's about to play, but the thing is, I'm blind and won't be able to see how he's doing. Think you can keep me posted? He's probably gonna exaggerate his skills if I left it to him", she laughed, giving Jimmy a playful glance. There was that word again! The owner nodded as he began loading a rifle for Jimmy before handing it over to him. "You've got 5 shots into that target over there. Anything over 45 wins a big prize from the wall over here", the owner explained before standing aside to give Jimmy a clear view of his target.

Jimmy nodded as he took the rifle. Four five-point shots. Easier said than done, and he seriously doubted he could hit the 10-point bullseye. Before he took aim, he turned to Ellie.
"Hey, what makes you think I'd lie about how well I do? The giant stuffed panda you get after I win will speak for itself." He said with a chuckle.

He took aim and fired as centrally as he could. He hit the target on the large one-point area, well off from where he was looking. At least he hit something. Four more. He tried again. Another one-point shot. He looked at the target carefully. The past two shots were lower and more to the right than he'd anticipated. Easy, up and to the left a bit more, and fired. Three points this time. He shrugged nonchalantly. He'd take what he could get. He wasn't totally embarrassing himself, at least. Just mostly. He frowned. He clearly couldn't win anything for Ellie anymore, but he wanted some shred of pride about his performance. If he hit the bullseye just once, he'd walk away happy. He re-adjusted and shot again. Five. Well, it was an improvement, he supposed. One last one. He fired again, but he couldn't tell where he'd hit. The owner took the target down and yelled out the score.
"Fifteen!"
"Damn it. I think this thing must be broken, because the problem couldn't possibly be with my aim." Jimmy said sarcastically to Ellie, winking at the booth owner to make sure he knew it was a joke.
"How much for another go? I know I can do better than that..." Jimmy asked. He probably wasn't going to do it, but his ego sort-of wanted him to.
"Five dollars." The owner said. That would have pretty much wiped him out of doing anything else particularly interesting.
"Ok, maybe we'll come back later, then." Jimmy replied, knowing entirely well that he wasn't going to. The owner seemed to know that too as his half-hearted nod didn't seem entirely convinced.

He walked over to Ellie and took her hand in his.
"So I guess we're using the b-word already, huh? Not that I'm complaining." He said happily, as he awaited an inevitable ribbing about his marksmanship. He didn't mind, he was determined to win her something elsewhere.

Ellie awaited the shots eagerly, somewhat aware that she probably wasn't getting a prize (45 with 5 shots was fairly difficult to achieve even for an experienced marksman), but still very curious about how close Jimmy would get. As it turned out, he wasn't close at all. The girl couldn't help but stifle a lighthearted chuckle when the owner announced that her date's score had been three times lower than the requirement. "Aww! It's okay, you missed the target, but you hit my heart!" she encouraged him, rubbing his arm softly for encouragement. She knew that they weren't going back, but still liked the fact that Jimmy was willing to give his own money for a chance to win her a prize even when he knew he probably wouldn't be able to. It was the thought that counted, and Ellie most certainly noticed it!

When her date mentioned the b-word, the young girl grinned. "You think that's early, wait till you see some of the girls I've lived with in foster... They'd already be planning your life for the next fifty years before even the first date! I wish I was kidding..." Ellie chuckled, once again wrapping her hands around Jimmy's arm. "Hey, mind if we go somewhere a bit quieter? I think I'm getting a bit overloaded here... Curse you, overly sensitive ears!"

"Well, hey, that's the only target I care about." He said, grinning.

"Like I said, I'm not complaining, just not what I'm used to. I'm proud to call myself your boyfriend, if you're happy with that. Sure thing, we can find somewhere quiet for a bit." Jimmy said, relieved. He didn't really care all that much about the fair, so long as his date enjoyed herself.

"You haven't given me a reason not to want to be your girlfriend... yet! So watch out, mister!" Ellie teased him, turning her head around to listen for a spot that seemed quieter, but she couldn't really 'detect' anything. "Hmm... Do you see where we could go? Doesn't have to be, like, super desolate, just with less people than here", she asked her date, her hands still wrapped around his arm, ready to be led to wherever he deemed appropriate.

"Well, I'll do what I can to keep it that way."

It didn't take long for Jimmy to single out a good spot.
"Yeah, there are some benches on the outskirts of the park, nobody's really there. Should be quiet enough." He said, starting to lead her towards the spot.

"Okay, benches sound good!" Ellie nodded with a smile, holding onto Jimmy's arm as they slowly distanced themselves from the crowd. Pretty much like all blind people, the young girl mostly orientated herself using the sounds around her, so crowded places were pretty much a deal breaker for her. When she was little, she'd often start to cry when taken to a place with crowds of people. It was disorienting, like having lights flashing in your face. And while it was still entirely possible for her to lose her composure, especially if she lost track of Jimmy, teen Ellie was way better at controlling herself than little Ellie. Still, that didn't mean she liked it.

"Ow!" the girl yelped out as she felt something tripping her just as they were exiting the crowd and approaching the benches. She took a step forward to catch her balance and felt her bare foot stepping on the concrete. Raising an eyebrow, Ellie let go of her date for a bit and crouched down, feeling the ground a bit before locating her shoe. As soon as the girl picked it up, she realized exactly what the problem was - the lace attached to the pad at the bottom had torn off. Not exactly an uncommon problem with heels, but still one that was particularly unpleasant. She could probably fix it temporary with some hot glue (or, well, ask Caroline to do it), but Ellie probably needed a new pair of heels. "Oh, come on! Are you serious?!?" she sighed, quickly taking her other shoe off too and taking then in her hand, placing the other one on Jimmy's arm. "As if we didn't have enough first date cliches... Well, looks like you're gonna have to carry me to the dorms!" she chuckled, grinning playfully at the boy.

"Oh man, well, more clichés are more clichés, might as well just embrace it." Jimmy said, laughing.

"Hey, it's not like you weigh much, I could manage that fine." He added, as he helped Ellie sit down on the bench before taking the spot next to her. The sounds of the fair were now quiet and distant, and Jimmy felt good to have found somewhere a bit more peaceful too.

"So, is this any better? I can see how it might have been a bit much for you over there, I could barely handle it myself." He admitted.

"Yeah, much better! Thanks! Sorry about that, I'm just... not very good with crowds. We've all got our quirks, right?" she smiled, placing her shoes and her purse down next to her. The young girl unconsciously wrapped her arms around herself - the weather, while certainly a lot warmer than it had been several months ago, still wasn't exactly summer-warm, and being only in a dress after dark probably wasn't the smartest idea.

"You know... You kinda remind me of this friend I had a few years back. Like, you're not really all that similar when it comes to personalities and all, but the way you talk and act... It's uncanny!" Ellie exclaimed, trying to keep some kind of conversation. "So, this was foster home number 3, right? For some reason most of the kids there really hated me, and I mean really hated me. There wasn't a day that went by that something crappy didn't happen to me... Tripping, they loved that. I was tripped pretty much all the time, especially when carrying food, that was a favorite of theirs! Speaking of food, a lovely prank they liked to play was put the grossest thing they could find in my food to see if I'd eat it. 'Hey, look at the blind girl, she's eating all this gross stuff cuz she can't see, hahaha', just childish crap, you know? But yeah, the alpha of that home was this kid named Josh, who was 15 at the time. Nobody messed with Josh, and I mean nobody! He was always stuck in detention, even got community service once for trashing the car of some rich high schooler who looked at him the wrong way. But he had a soft spot for me, for some reason. I was always his Ellie, nobody dared lay a finger on me when Josh was around! Like you, whenever I got upset or needed to get away from a place, he made it his mission to calm me down. We always talked a lot, and there was something about him which made me comfortable, you know? Like I can tell him anything and I'm not going to be pitied or judged, but understood. You've got that same aura. You're not really violent like Josh was, but the way you talk to me... It puts me at ease is what I'm trying to say. I like it. A lot", she smiled.

"Hey, it's all fine, don't worry about it." Jimmy smiled. Seeing his... girlfriend(?) wrapping her arms around herself for warmth, Jimmy felt a brief moment of guilt. He would have offered Ellie a coat or something, but he didn't bring one.
"You cold? Maybe we should find a place inside, instead?" He said, wrapping one arm around her and pulling her close to provide what little warmth he could.

Jimmy listened carefully to Ellie's story, and shook his head once it was all said and done. He just couldn't possibly connect with why anyone would have treated her the way those other kids did. That cruelty would have been unfathomable to him if he was any more of an idealist.
"Well, thanks, I guess. I might not have that intimidation factor, but I'll do my best to do right by you, just as your Josh did. If nothing else, take faith in that."

He thought a little more about how he could expand on Ellie's story, but he found himself lacking the words.
"Y'know, I really can't compare you to anyone I know, or have ever known. Not that the past is a particularly good point of reference for me... but, I don't know. There's something unique about you, and I can't place what it is, but you know how people say 'you're one in a million'? It seems to me like that's not really much of an achievement now that there's seven billion people on the planet. Certainly not enough for you."

"No, it's okay. I'm just a bit chilly, that's all. Don't worry about me!" she spoke, not wanting to concern her date with such trivial matters. She kind of felt like bringing her feet up on the bench and hugging her knees, but figured that doing so while wearing a dress wouldn't have been very desirable. When Jimmy told her he'd do right by her, the young girl nodded. She believed his intentions, of course, but there was something else there... That 'I guess' kind of rubbed her the wrong way. She was trying to make her date a compliment, but as always she'd messed something up along the way.
"Hey, I didn't tell you this story to compare you to Josh or anything! Trust me, you two are very different people. It's just... You make me feel safe was what I was trying to say... But I've always sucked at explaining things. As I said, I was never really popular. Not a whole lot of opportunities to hone my conversational skills!" she chuckled, slightly regretting sharing this story now. She didn't want to make Jimmy feel like he was being held up to some sort of standard.

"Yeah, I'm pretty unique, aren't I? Blame it on being a blind nerd with no parents", she chuckled. "Mrs. Monroe, my first foster mom, used to say that we've all got, like, a twin somewhere in the world. Different circumstances, different family, but the same genes, or so close that they're practically identical, I guess. If that's true, then I guess I'm not as unique as you think! Somewhere there's another Ellie, probably being all awkward next to another Jimmy", she smiled.